FAMILY LIFE, PARENTING AND RAISING CHILDREN
Everyone wants to raise children who are ready to
face life confidently and capably when they reach adulthood. But this is not an easy job.
I had read all the books and had all the answers - until I had real children.
As someone once said, parenting is difficult because the parents have had no experience
with their particular child at that particular age before. There is no one parenting book
that fits fits every parenting situation.
We present the books here that we ourselves or
others we know have found useful.
We have including a few newer ones that look good, but we've not yet had time to read.
I will say up front that we believe the Bible is God's revealed truth for all of life,
including parenting.
Today's wisdom does not usually line up with what the Bible teaches.
We have, for the most part, limited the books we introduce here, unless they deal strictly
with physical care,
to those written by authors who have gotten their parenting ideas from the Bible.
We recognize that even parents trying to apply Biblical principle do not always agree in
every point.
And what works with one child does not always have the same result with another, since all
children are different.
We suggest that if your goal is to raise children
who will honor God in their adult lives,
you should read several books and evaluate each in the light of the Scriptures and then in
the light of your own personalities and those of your children. Apply what you believe is
right and throw the rest out. You may not agree with all that one particular author
teaches, but you still might find he has some ideas which will help your family on a
practical level. The important thing is to read with an open heart, prayerfully, and to
seek God's wisdom.
Here are the books.
 365 Days of
Baby Love: Playing, Growing and Exploring with Babies From Birth to Age 2, by
Sheila Ellison. It's hard to know how to classify this, since it has information on
educating, playing with, and physically caring for babies. But since all the the book's
365 activities involve active parenting, I put it here. Tired mothers of babies will
appreciate the fact that each suggested activity occupies only one page of light reading
which can easily be devoured during breaks or baby's nap. They are uncomplicated, most not
requiring any materials at all, and the rest only common materials you probably have
around the house. This book makes a great shower gift for a new mom or will give a home
schooling mom a complete curriculum for her youngest children. 365 pages, not counting
Table of Contents. $11.65-D
Adopting for Good: A Guide for People
Considering Adoption by Jorie Kincaid. InterVarsity Press, trade paper. The
author, founder and director of Orphans Overseas in Portland, Oregon, shares the
information prospective parents need to know to determine if they should adopt. Points
covered include the difference between open and closed adoption; the steps you can take to
make adoption permanent; the challenges of adopting an infant versus an older child; the
difference between adoption and "buying a baby"; and some key sources for those
who have decided they would like to adopt. 180 pages. Cat.#IVP-19703. $9.89-D
Beautiful Girlhood revised by
Karen Adreola from the original work by M. Hale. Trade paper. This book was written to
encourage girls who are becoming young women to become examples of sincerity, purity, and
love in a cynical and dark world. According to the author "Girlhood is the
opening flower of womanhood....The wonderful change from the child to the woman, the
marvelous blossoming of young, healthy girlhood, will ever be God's greatest miracle in a
life's garden. Girlhood is like a half-open rose. " The book addresses character -
building, obedience, real beauty, the tongue, disposition,truthfulness, ambition, purpose,
friendships, home life, dress, boy friends, and much, much, more. It is meant to inspire
girls and give them a vision of what they can become as they walk with God. 205 pages.
Cat.#1883934-028. $8.05-D
A Caregiver's Survival Guide: How to Stay
Healthy When Your Loved One is Sick by Kay Marshall Strom. Foreword by Joni
Eareckson Tada. Many of us with aging parents or family members who have disabling
illnesses are facing issues related to their care. The author spent ten years caring for
her spouse who had a rare, debilitating disease, and she is able to bring the voice of
experience and compassion to this topic. She offers advice on finding spiritual support;
maintaining balanced relationships; deciding when living at home is no longer possible;
working out the finances; understanding the impact on the whole family; and dealing with
the personal loses. If you are caring for an adult family member, her ideas will
help you with the task you face. InterVarsity Press, trade paper, 153 pages. Cat. #
IVP-22305. $8.99-D
Children are Wet Cement, by
Anne Ortlund. This is an author I have met personally and she, along with her husband Ray,
actually influenced me and my husband in our decision to marry each other. I recommend all
of her books, but in this one she shows parents how to practice verbal affirmation, a
simple yet powerful technique for raising children who will become secure, loving adults.
Her instructions are specific for each stage of childhood, from infancy to the teen years
and beyond. Anne tells lots of stories from her own childhood and of raising her own
children (who, incidentally, grew into successful adults who love the Lord and have added
their own two cents worth in this book). The last section of the book deals with us as
children of God and own relationship with our Heavenly Parent. She points out that no
matter how set we have become in our own ways, it is never too late or impossible for us
to change. God has built into us the hope that we can become better, and He has the
strength to help us. I highly recommend this book. It's mass market paper and very
affordable -- only $4.49-D
Families at the Crossroads: Beyond
Traditional and Modern Options by Rodney Clapp. As family issues and
changes to the family become more and more controversial -- even among Christians -- the
author challenges the assumption that the so-called traditional family is the Biblical
model while also rejecting many modern options. Instead he searches the Bible for
insight on the family for those who live in today's world. Whatever you currently
think about the family today and the influences on it for good or ill, this book will
challenge you. Do you think the family or the church is the most important institution on
earth? What effect do you think capitalism has on the family today? Is it better to be
married or single? The author will cause you to take a second look at the answers to
these questions and many more. InterVarsity press, trade paper. 208 pages. Cat.
#IVP-16550. $13.49-D
***
 Families
that Play Together Stay Together: Fun and Healthy TV-Free Ideas, by Cameron
and Donna Partow. This book will help your family decide together on activities that will
help them talk more, bond more closely, get healthy, burn off stress, and build a
treasure of memories. It is packed with practical ideas that will inspire your family to
lead a healthier, more family-oriented lifestyle. Even if presently your main exercise is
raising your hand from a bag of chips to your mouth, this book will motivate you to get
out and move -- one step at a time. 233 pages. $8.05-D
 Family
Celebrations at Birthdays and for Vacations and Other Holidays, by Ann
Hibbard. Trade paper, from Baker Books. If a tight budget, inflated expectations, and the
"bigger and better birthday" trap have you dreading the thought of a child's
approaching birthday, relax and read this book. The author offers guidelines for making
these important family celebrations and others simple, imaginative, and Christ-honoring.
There are practical tips for planning birthdays that everyone will enjoy -- fun,
memorable, and affordable. Ideas are also included for vacations, Valentine's Day,
Mother's Day, Father's Day and Lent. Family devotions for these occasions are also
included. $11.69-D
***
Family Traditions: Practical, Intentional
Ways to Strengthen Your Family Identity, a Heritage Builder book by J Otis
Ledbetter and Tim Smith. Chariot Victor, trade paper. The authors believe that family
traditions are very important in cementing family identity, and they show parents how to
leave a meaningful legacy by passing on their values through their family traditions --
even if they did not grow up with established family traditions themselves. They share
ideas for making current holiday celebrations more meaningful and for initiating some new
celebrations based on family milestones and special events in the lives of the family that
have spiritual significance, perhaps adaptations of Biblical traditions. 217 pages.
Cat.#Char-7531. $8.99-D
If I Were Starting My Family Again: Gentle
Advice for Modern Parents, by John M. Drescher. Trade paper, 1994
edition. This best-selling author of parenting and family books offers some practical ways
to take the pressures off being a parent. He sums it all up by describing parents as
"God's love with skin on." Only 59 easy-to-have-time-to -read pages. 5.99-D
 How to Really
Love Your Child by Ross Campbell, M.D. You know you love your children, but
do you know how to manifest your love to them in the ways they best understand it? This
book will show you how to express your love appropriately. It also discusses inappropriate
forms of love -- affection which when given to a child hinders his/her emotional
growth by failing to meet emotional needs and, instead, fostering more dependence on a
parent while hampering self reliance. (A perfect fictional example of this is found
in the book Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield.) This book
also discusses discipline, dealing with a child's anger, children with special problems,
and helping your child spiritually.
Dr. Campbell eases into his subject of loving children
by first introducing the proper family setting, helping both parents see how their
relationship to each other affects their children. He also mentions the importance of the
father's role in taking some responsibility for conveying love rather than considering
children's emotional needs the exclusive domain of the mother.
This is a book I think all parents will benefit from
reading. It's trade paper and 139 pages long. $8.91-D
***
How to Really Love Your Teenager, Revised
Edition by Ross Campbell, M.D. The author believes that parents often harbor
misconceptions about adolescence and develop unrealistic expectations that set them up for
disappointment. To further complicate the problems, many parents haven't' learned to
express love in ways that make their teens feel loved and
accepted. Dr. Campbell teaches parents how to communicate unconditional love; handle anger
(the teen's and your own); deal with adolescent depression; and help your teenager grow
spiritually and intellectually. This updated version of the book contains new information
on dealing with anger, attention deficit disorder, and spiritual nurturing. ChariotVICTOR,
trade paper, 141 pages. Cat. #Char-067X. $8.99-D
Letters to My Children: A Father Passes on
His Values by Daniel Taylor. A Christian father shares his deepest
convictions about friendship, prayer, family, church, honesty, self-image, and faith in
God. InterVarsity Press, trade paper. 177 pages. Cat. #IVP-22380. $10.79-D
Making God Real to Your Children,
by Sally Leman Chall. Spire, mass market size paperback. The author has over twenty years
of teaching experience at all levels, and concludes that children learn most of their
attitudes and values about life and eternity by watching the the adults who are close to
them -- like Mom and Dad. The author begins with three fundamental principles for parents
to keep in mind as they go through the book: (1) God's Word is our instruction manual .
(2)Know your child (3) Don't drive a great idea into the ground. Then the author focuses
on showing parents how to model a consistent Christian lifestyle from the heart, how to
lovingly discipline their children, how to improve their communication skills, how to
tackle tough problems, and much more. All this for only $5.39-D
Parenting in the Pew: Guiding Your Children
into the Joy of Worship by Robbie Castleman. Foreword by Ruth Bell Graham.
The author has a passion for worship, and has learned how to teach children to praise God.
She impresses upon parents the importance of taking their children's worship seriously,
and proceeds to show how parents can help their children, toddlers to teenagers, to
participate wholeheartedly in life's most important act. Trade paper, InterVarsity
Press. 125 pages + discussion questions for group study. CAT. # IVP-16275. $8.99-D
***
 The Power of
Believing in Your Child, by Miles McPherson. Trade paper, Bethany House.
This is the book to read if you have a child you're really worried about -- or even
tempted to give up on. But it's also a book for any parent who wants to unleash the power
he/she has to help his/her children be all they can be. The author wants to give all
parents insight to cherish their children as God does, freedom from the fear that your
children will lose the game of life, and the courage to raise your children according to
the promises of God. 207 pages of practical advice. $9.89-D
***
Shepherding a Child's Heart by
Tedd Tripp. This book is about speaking to the heart of your child, for the things your
child will say and do will flow from his/her heart. Parents with children of any age will
receive a new perspective and some methods of shepherding the heart of a child. Trade
paper, Shepherd Press. 215 pages including index to Scriptures. Recommended by John
MacArthur and Elisabeth Elliot. Cat. # 0066378601. $12.56-D
The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to
Reality, by Mary Pride. Trade paperback. From a former feminist who's been
there, done that, comes a call for the Christian woman to discover the biblical freedom
intended for her in life. How? By establishing a proper relationship to God, to her
husband, and to her children. When I first read this book I bought five copies and started
circulating them around church because I believed the book's message was so crucial. I
still do. You may not agree with everything, but there's a lot here to ponder and pray
about and plenty of ideas to encourage and inspire you. Pride discusses
"wifeliness," mothering, working at home, and ministering through the home.
235 pages. $10.39-D
***
What is a Family? by Edith
Schaeffer. Trade paper. Many long years ago when I worked in a Christian bookstore instead
of owning my own book business, I managed to be included in a lunch with Edith Schaeffer
after she had been autographing books in our store. My boss knew she was one of my
favorite authors. I had read all her books. I was waiting to hear profound things at
lunch, but the most important thing to this lady was her family -- and she pulled out a
large picture of her huge extended family for us to see and began telling us about the
people in he picture.
This incredible woman was involved in the work of her
husband, Francis A Schaeffer and in the
raising and educating of her many children. At the time she wrote this book she had lived
in a family for 60 years, beginning at birth and continuing as a grandmother; she had been
a wife for 40 years, and a mother for 38 years. During that time she developed a
vision for all that the family is and can be. And this book imparts that vision.
According to Mrs. Schaeffer, a family is an ever-changing life mobile, a balanced
environment, the birthplace of creativity, the formation center for human relationships, a
shelter in the time of storm, a perpetual relay of truth, an economic unit, and museum of
memories, and a door with hinges and a lock.
The Bible says that without vision the people perish.
Vision gives us a purpose and a goal to aim at. It gives us the big picture. If you are
beginning to weary of changing diapers, fixing endless meals, or doing mountains of
laundry while also trying to nurture your children and be a support to your husband, day
in and day out, this book will help you regain your perspective. If you are newly
married and have no children yet, this books will show you the possibilities of what lies
ahead. Don't miss it. $11.69-D
See also Building Character.
 Rest of this page is under
construction. Come back soon.
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